The universe responds to the real you. Not the facade!

When I was a kid, I was the sweetest child you could ever meet but of course I had my limits as we all do. When pushed you got whatever I wanted to give. Good, bad or indifferent. I was myself. I was being who I really was with no inhibitions. However, when I grew up, things happened that weren't always fair and sometimes I couldn't always muster up legitimate reasoning behind why things wouldn't go my way. It made me want to hide. I couldn't always vindicate myself or pull myself out of the fog. The Injustices had hardened my heart & put me into a shell. I wanted to hide the ugliness of who I was on the inside.

Whether I deserved it or not, I couldn't see past why things weren't working out for me. My inability to asses what got me to that point caused me to miss an important lesson. I wasn't who I thought I was. Finding out who you really are can be really devastating. Especially if you have it in your head you are one way and it turns out you are the the complete opposite. However, God checks in to alert us of the ultimate injustice of not being who we really are. When we hide who we are, we lie. When we live in dishonesty, nothing goes right. So before we highlight on what we don't have or why we haven't catapulted to the next level, examine yourself. Are you real about who you really are? Mark 8:17 And Jesus, aware of this, said to them, “Why are you discussing the fact that you have no bread? Do you not yet perceive or understand? Are your hearts hardened?

I became bitter. I was lost but by choice. I was unauthentic and pretending as if everything were okay meanwhile brewing on the inside and resenting everything & everyone. No one knew. I hid it well. However, God knew. He knew my heart and I wasn't gonna get nothing I was asking for until I cleaned my heart. Hiding who I was was the worst thing I could do. All it did was conflict with the way I carried on within the world.I couldn't see because I inserted myself in confusion. I should have been truthful about who I was & what I was battling.

There was no way I could have been as happy and together as I had proclaimed if I wasn't seeing the fruit of my work. There was no way I was as free or as kind as I'd like to believe if I was in the company of not so kind people. I was catching so much hell for living in delusion. It was self inflicted. I was chose to stay silent by not living as I was truthfully.

You cannot pretend to bring peace and be in the midst of confusion. You cannot want to bring everyone together and also promote division. You cannot say you love everyone and you hate a loved one. If you do choose to harbor these feelings, know that it doesn't go unnoticed by God. Proverbs 28:13-14 Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. Blessed is the one who fears the Lord always, but whoever hardens his heart will fall into calamity.

So it began, for almost 15 years, I had every intent to do well but with the intent to stick it to the ones who have oppressed me LOL. I wanted to show them up for belittling me. This caused me to be on a loop of disappointments never really beating certain milestones. Now while it is natural to want to show those who have counted you out that you are more than what they thought, this is displeasing to God. You should be doing things to get God's approval! I was not. I was still in ways trying to get the approval of those who just plain counted me out. I had it all wrong.

So many days of working hard just to show people I was capable went in vain. I would see very little results or none at all. I was confused. I am practically killing myself and no one is noticing is what I would say. God noticed but knew my true desire was the disease to please. I wasn't going to get any brownie points from God while having people on a pedestal.

I started digging deep within myself to figure out why I couldn't get off of this loop which helped me to release. In releasing, I saw my heart soften again and gained compassion. Getting humbled a time or two also helped LOL! All of these things helped me to see this revelation: If your heart has hardened for whatever reason or for whatever injustice, you can almost be certain that they universe will response to you in that forum.

If you are not living right or not trying to do the best you can, you can always expect to come up short. Proverbs 4:23 Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. Nothing you want will come to you right if you aren't living right. Ignore the offenses of others as you have offended others. Succeed because it is a requirement on earth to carry out your purpose. Don't pretend you're doing something for one thing only to get outed by life.

I am going to leave you with this:

Romans 2:5

But because of your hard and impenitent heart you are storing up wrath for yourself on the day of wrath when God's righteous judgment will be revealed.

Thoughts?